ChickenBrick Studios Forum

[BatKol]

*grin*

[Lo0pz]

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar.

FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST!

So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her."

The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.

The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"

[gassygus]

A new nurse at the mental institution was observing patients during their yearly haloween party....
The first patient came in in a glitter jumpsuit, wearing funky sunglasses and carrying a microphone....the nurse asked him "and what is your name sir?" The man replied "I am elvis presley and as soon as they realize that they will let me out of this place!"
The second patient arrives, in a beautiful silk gown, with hair done perfectly wearing a crown, waving sweetly to all the doctors "and who might you be ma'am?" To which the lady replies "why dear, I am the queen of england, and as soon as they realize that they will let me out of this place!"
Finally after aeveral minuites of small talk the third patient arrives....buck naked with several almonds glued to his penis...shocked the nurse asks him "who are you sir?!N to which he simply replied "I'm f*ck ing nuts and I'm NEVER gettin outta here!"

[gassygus]

I read my husband this one and he laughed a bit more than I would have liked.... so alas he, like the guy in the joke was out of luck tonite too...lol

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that biatch knows I'm smarter than her.

[Polyamorous]

lmfao why shudnt you tell a secret in a corn field?
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cuz theres ears nao thats corny lmfao also whats up^ with airlinefood

[Lo0pz]

Wendy that is pure class!

just be mindful of the next time he may suggest taking the day off work to spend some time with you....

[gassygus]

Wendy that is pure class!

just be mindful of the next time he may suggest taking the day off work to spend some time with you....

Actually he's on vacation in 2 weeks he said he would take me to the mall that has blooingdals in it....seriously! He better not do it!

[BatKol]

I just got this in email & wanted to share this laugh with you. LoL

"Last night, my kids & I were sitting in the living room & I said,

'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine & fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

They got up, unplugged the computer, & threw out my wine!"

[BatKol]

This was just sent to me by a friend via text message.

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.  The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.""No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident."A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.""I'm afraid not,' explained Obama.'That's what we would call a great loss."The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"Finally, at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If the

[BatKol]

Female Waxing
Painful Joke lol...

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/female-waxing.html